In a previous blog incarnation I used to join others in posting a song or piece of music every Monday. I’ve no idea whether anyone else still does it, but I’m going to try to do it regularly and share songs which are special to me or have had an impact on me.
We sang this on Sunday in church. It’s a great song for me at the moment. I popped into the vestry to grab a song book and copied the lyrics into my diary so I can always have them near me. The words are some that I definitely need to pray at the moment.
Let Your living water flow over my soul
Let Your Holy Spirit come and take control
Of every situation that has troubled my mind
All my cares and burdens on to You I roll
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus
Father, Father, Father
Spirit, Spirit, Spirit
Come now, Holy Spirit, and take control
Hold me in Your loving arms and make me whole
Wipe away all doubt and fear and take my pride
Draw me to Your love and keep me by Your side
Give your life to Jesus, let Him fill your soul
Let Him take you in His arms and make you whole
As you give your life to Him He’ll set you free
You will live and reign with Him eternally.
This post is more for my own reference than anything else… I don’t want to forget what was said by one of the speakers on our parish weekend and I don’t have a good track record of keeping hold of the note books I use.
Seeking first the Kingdom of God
God’s first acts in creation
* Create us and the world
*Give us the world to look after
We have a choice – to trust God or not.
Trust God – He will look after us. Look for God first before looking for food or possessions.
God is our father – come to him in prayer as to a father.
Worship isn’t a one way channel, we need to allow God to speak to us as well as us speaking to Him.
Don’t concentrate on where the devil is moving, concentrate on what God wants and what He is doing.
1 – Seek first the King – ‘Our Father, who is in heaven’ (this is where I made my heaven/haven ‘mistake’)
2 – Seek first His reign – ‘Your kingdom come, Your will be done’ – Read NT Wright – Surprised by Hope
3 – Seek first His ways – ‘Lead us not into temptation’
God definitely works in mysterious ways…. I just wish I could understand them sometimes…
Since the church weekend away and opening up to a couple of people there through my heaven/haven moment I have felt as though a weight has been lifted from me. It’s been amazing. My mood is so much lighter, I’m still having low and dark moments but they’re less frequent and shorter.
However my eating is worse than it has been for a while. Food is consuming my thoughts. Monkeyfather was away with work this week and I found myself eating so much. I feel so guilty about it. I caught myself today planning how to drastically cut out most food so that I can feel in control and lose some of the weight I must have put on. Most of me doesn’t want to do that, and I know it’s daft, but I sometimes can’t see an alternative.
I’m struggling to reconcile the lightness I feel in my mood most of the time with the thoughts of food going around my head and how out of control it’s making me feel.
I was speaking to a lovely lady from church yesterday who asked how I was feeling. When I explained the lightness since the weekend she just smiled. I told her how I found it hard to understand how sudden the change was and she just said that is because “we’re praying for you”.
Whether it’s the power of prayer, or my medication finally kicking in or a ‘God-incidence’ of the two I am grateful that I do feel lighter more, but the hold food still has on me scares me. I hate the relationship I have with food and I do pray that my precious children don’t pick up bad habits from me as a result of seeing how I deal with food.