Just a quick one

I’m typing this from my phone since the monkeyfather is changing some settings on my laptop.
It’s been a long day. Counselling this morning brought out more issues about communication and my dislike of change, but my need to know the details of change when I know it’s happening. The monkeyfather and I had a good talk and clarified some thoughts about our planned move, though our destination still isn’t clear. It was useful though.
I’m tired after all the discussions today, but I do feel they have helped a bit. I’ll feel a lot better (I hope) once we have decided where we’re going to move to.

It’s good to talk…

I can’t remember which company’s tagline that was but it’s fairly apt for today.

I had my first session of counselling/talking therapy this morning. It was rather difficult to begin with, I don’t find it very easy to talk about what I’m feeling but it did get easier as the session went on.

My therapist seems lovely. It came out as we talked that she is a Christian too, which somehow makes this easier for me (I’m not sure why!). I’ll get to have up to 8 sessions with her depending how they go and how much help they seem to be.

As we spoke and discussed ‘me’ it really brought to the fore how many areas of my life have difficulties at the moment, if it was just one area I think I’d be able to cope, but when we could see 6 or 7 areas that I’m struggling with or are weighing me down I’m almost not surprised that the lighter times are overshadowed by darker and heavier ones.

I came out of the room feeling very tired but somehow a little better. The rational thought that, yes, there are difficulties but there are also areas in my life where (as she put it) I brighten up when I discuss them and feel a bit more positive (even briefly) gives me hope that with support I can move further towards the light even though there are things that pull me down that I can’t ,and won’t ever be able to, change. (apologies for the crazily long muddled sentence these but I couldn’t phrase it any better!)

Romantic moment :-)